With the exception of sharing our mothers wombs with our siblings, as part of twins, triplets or more, our ‘Genesis points’ usually begins in singularity.
We obviously live most of our child-hood as a single person and (as mentioned in my ‘Single and Secure’ post) we learn about relationships from those around us.
The world is full of conflicting and contradictory messages.
You could read one of the many reports or surveys, which states that young adults (and the not so young) are more interested in building their careers and earning money, with relationships being a low priority.
However, you only have to look at the countless available dating apps and websites, as well as the numerous amounts of dating/relationship documentaries, reality-TV shows, soap operas and movies.
To see that they all focus on men and women coupling up, getting married and eventually having a family…that is how ‘life’ in general, exists and continues.
Most of us are not biologically, emotionally or spiritually disposed to live our lives as a singleton, having no romantic or sexual relationships with anyone.
For example, if you stopped 100 adults on any street in the world (referencing the 80/20 principle) you would probably find around 80 would state that they are either in a relationship or would like to eventually be in one.
The other 20 would be more than happy to remain single and have no desires of tying themselves to another human being, for a romantic relationship/marriage.
The 3 states of being Single.
Wherever you happen to be in that percentage ratio, did you know there are 3 states of being single?
1) Single and not looking/interested in a relationship.
2) Single but looking/open to a relationship.
3) Single having recently come out of a relationship.
If state 1) or 2) are applicable to you, it’s important to remember to walk in confidence and assurance, being happy with whom you are.
Use the negatives in your situation to help build your character and remember to celebrate all the positives (which come with being single) focusing on your development in the situations you choose or find yourself in.
For those in state 2), your confidence, self-assurance, positive attitude, welcoming demeanour and your focus on constructively utilising your time, will be a ‘magnet’ which will draw interest from others.
State 3) requires an individual to make the space and take the time to heal and gather their thoughts.
Individuals in this state should spend some quality time to emotionally re-focus and ask themselves which of the states ( 1) or 2)) would be best for them and their lives.
If you are the singleton amongst your “coupled-up” friends, work on your holistic self-development, do some charity work (local, national and international), travel (in your own country and abroad) and try your best to be positive.
Keep your heart and eyes opened for the ‘possibilities’ of sharing your life with someone…Until then…
Phil Gayle – © Copyright For Singles and Couples. All rights reserved 2019
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