It Takes a Village

Why it takes a village – (Part 2 of 2)

In part one, I covered some of our personal experiences and history.
We take our parental role seriously and we understand that effective parenting and leadership, is about influence and motivation to positive action.
Life has those unknown external elements which are beyond our immediate control; they usually occur through the actions of others.
However, we have also taught our children that many of the outcomes and situations they encounter in life, are a direct consequence of the actions they have executed, based on the choices they’ve made.
Accountability and taking responsibility for their actions has always been a theme running through our family parental teaching/training.
We constantly remind them that there is a difference between a mistake and a bad choice.

It takes a villageThe family unit today
Obviously, geographical location, culture, economic situations, varying beliefs, residential locality (rural or urban), religious allegiance and political governance all play a part in how contemporary families are structured.

A reminder
I will continue to stand by my convictions, to repeat what I have said in my extended introduction.
It’s never my intention to lambaste those who do not believe what I believe, or live the way I do, personal choice is personal choice.
However, I’m not apologetic for believing and choosing to live the way we live.
I’m more interested in being ‘correct’ (for the sake of my family) as opposed to being ‘politically correct’ to please (the loony left or far-wrong) snowflakes.

Enemies of the Village
There are obviously many negative and evil situations surrounding us, various abuses and corruption in every level of society.
Sadly, sometimes, the institutions and establishments which should be positively serving us, contain the most corrupt and exploitative setups and individuals.
I’m not going to cover those negativities here but would like to give readers clarity.
I’m fully aware, that the ultimate ‘utopian’ set-up has been infected by the negative and alternative choices many choose to make.
In some situations it’s near impossible to create and achieve but it’s still possible.

The benefits list, achievable ideals

In this particular post(chapter) as in part one, I’m focusing on the family as it should be and the supporting village, which enables young adults to grow with an understanding of the importance of:-

  • A good moral compass, with an understanding of what the foundations are to achieve that.
  • Why boundaries(rules/laws) are in place and where those boundaries originate.
  • The avoidance of sexual abuse.
  • The avoidance of drug dependency or pushing/selling drugs.
  • The avoidance of gun, knife crime and all forms of violence.
  • The avoidance of sexual promiscuity.
  • The avoidance of unwanted pregnancies, unmarried young and single parents.
  • The avoidance of visiting clinics/hospitals for abortions.
  • The avoidance of sexually transmitted diseases.
  • Young men understanding the value of women and the need to respect/protect to avoid abuse & rape and the evils of perpetuating a rape culture.
  • Young men and women learning the meaning of modesty, modest dressing and why they are important.
  • Young men being taught and learning how to positively deal with rejection and the hard knocks in life, developing mental strength, self-belief and self-respect.
  • Young women being taught and learning how to have self-respect and an understanding of what true love really is, in order to value themselves, as they should.
  • Young women learning the importance of valuing their inner beauty and natural beauty.
    Avoiding a dependency on cosmetics and cosmetic surgery, thereby rejecting an externally imposed society lie, as to what constitutes as beauty.
  • Young women placing value on love and family, as opposed to materialism or money, thereby preventing themselves from being targets of relationship abusers, rape gangs or sex traffickers.
  • Young women learning how to handle work and business in their own right, avoiding dependence on others and not looking for anyone else to look after them.
  • Young men & women, learning the value of process and hard work, learning that careers and businesses, require patience, consistent dedication and take time to build.
  • Respecting of family elders and other seniors within their community.
  • The avoidance of being involved in the occult.
  • Young men and women understanding the importance of education and reading.
  • The importance for both males and females to be able to cook healthy nutritional meals using healthy ingredients, to aid their health and fitness and build their immune systems.
  • The importance of positive self-love and acceptance, in order to avoid suicidal thoughts and the devastation of suicide.
    Thoughts brought on by not feeling loved or having unrealistic materialistic expectations, provided by the mainstream media and some on social media.
  • The importance of young men and women in understanding the moral degradation and the destructive negative impact which Porn has on their behaviour and holistic well-being.
  • The prevention of negative father issues, by seeing men in their place alongside women, parenting and loving their families.
  • The avoidance of homelessness and prostitution.
  • Why it’s important to be part of a loving and secure husband and wife family unit.

Imagine everyone pulling together having the (above listed) achievable ideals, imagine families being on the same page and others in the community sharing the same beliefs and values.
Imagine the positive impact it would have on crime prevention, social deprivation, poverty and all forms of abuse.
Some incorrectly believe it can only be achieved if everyone in their communities look like them.
They want and hope for the separation and segregation of ethnicities and colours.
While I understand the reasons for having those “it’s easier” beliefs, in reality, those living in ex-colonial leader countries or countries where there has been mass migration from other continents, will have communities which have members with varying ethnicities and backgrounds.
It’s important to remember an obvious, just because a person shares your colour and ethnicity, it doesn’t equate to them automatically having the exact same village and family philosophy that you have.

Love, colour and ethnicity
Have you read my post on love and colour? and my post entitled I couldn’t?
I’m aware that there is a growing amount of anger and ignorance concerning ethnicity and ethnic/colour mixing, in truth, what has changed?
Hate is a powerful emotion, it appears to be easier to embrace than understanding and forgiveness and (in some instances) easier to embrace than the more powerful emotion of Love.
Ethnicity and colour, especially in relationships, are subject matters I’m extremely familiar with and I’ll continue to cover it in posts on this Blog and more in-depth in the For Singles and Couples book.
I also have another WIP covering ethnicity, xenophobia and same-colour prejudice.
However, the focus of this post, is on the reality of living in (by and large) communities with people from other ethnic backgrounds, as well as our own.
Life is easier if we show love and respect for others, it’s easier if we live in countries whose laws we agree with, it’s easier if we look for peaceful intelligent ways to settle our differences and it’s sure easier if others are pulling together (in the same direction) to achieve specific family and community orientated goals and objectives, a.k.a the village.

Making the best use of the times we live in
In the times we now live in, with plandemics, shifts in the world political and governing landscape, higher education seemingly returning to becoming a preserve for the financially rich, economic uncertainties, job prospects becoming more controlled and difficult to obtain, a disproportionate unfair distribution of affordable housing and activist groups prepared to take advantage of social unrest, to name a few.
Young adults are now faced with the prospect of staying in the family home for longer.
Some see this as a bad thing, while others realise it is for the best, especially if you hope that young adults take that time to positively develop themselves whilst learning to enjoy being secure as a singleton.
Enabling them to mature and look at the ‘bigger picture’ by focusing on education, job prospects, working on their careers, saving money, doing some charity work and dating responsibly, with a view to becoming a possible life and marital partner to someone.
Important life issues, which will eventually enable them to leave home, move into their marital abode and possibly have their own families.

The village…It’s a mentality
As illustrated in the featured image, Villages are, by their definition, smaller than a Town and are usually located in or near the countryside.
Obviously, many of us live in Towns & Cities but that doesn’t stop us from being more ‘connected’ and having a village mentality of communication, closeness and support.
The Genesis point should be parents, they have friends, who have friends and some have children.
Those children need to be nurtured in a loving environment where family values are instilled.
If the connected friends and relatives are doing the same, whether in a City, Town or actual Village, the Village mentality can be successfully cultivated.

People complicate matters
The proverb still stands true, it does take a village to raise a good balanced child.
However, those of us with living grand parents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins, can testify that, in reality, life concerning our children, can be complicated.
I speak often about the importance of having shared values/beliefs because opposing views and a lack of unity creates major problems.
People complicate matters when they exercise choices which pull in alternative directions to their relatives.
This is also where the value of friendship comes into play; friendships can fill the ‘missing relative’, gap.
As a species, members of the human race have a deep inclination to connect with people who share their values and beliefs, especially where children are concerned and even more so when relatives oppose those values and beliefs.
Life could be easy but sadly it is not, due to humans exercising the power of choice, in ways ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime.
Sliding scales are introduced, grey areas develop, preferences can overshadow truths and subjectivity is thrown into the equation, making what should be clear and easy decisions, a matter of opinion and individual perception and perspective.
Arguably, one of the biggest problem areas are the school/educational environments, where children are mixing from various backgrounds with parents who view life and morality completely different, even within ‘supposedly’ single faith environments.
It’s not necessarily a problem, when a child ‘owns’ what they have been taught.
However, it becomes a major problem if the child is rebellious, has a weak mentality, is easily influenced or has a ‘grass is always greener on the other side’ view of life.
This is why I continue to emphasise, in friendships but especially where being married and having children are concerned, shared values and beliefs are way more important than physical aesthetics, ethnicity or the colour of a persons skin, as there will be times when couples may have to unite against their own relatives.
It’s true that chains are only as strong as the weakest link and sometimes those weak links are clearly evident in the above mentioned environments and scenarios.

What’s needed for the village
There are a few key things (ingredients) which need to be evident, for the village mentality and system to be established and functioning.
It’s important to remember that we are supposed to be assisting young adults, as mentors and role models, to help them to develop themselves, to have empathy and emotional maturity to deal with others and also to be a viable candidate (if they choose to) for a long-term partnership and marriage, in other words, for ‘life’ in general.
Honesty, open communication, love and care, providing real-life practical examples, humility and sincerely wanting the best for others, are the necessary components.
Both single and married childless mature adults, also have a part to play, whether they are older cousins, aunts, uncles or good friends of the parents.

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